The New Dare to Discipline
Children need love, trust, affection–and discipline. From one generation to the next, the challenge of helping children into responsible adults doesn’t change. Dr. Dobson’s classic Dare to Discipline, a practical, reassuring guide for caring parents, has sold over 2 million copies since its release in 1970. What gives a book that kind of staying power? The ability to meet a real, felt need in the marketplace. Today, a whole new generation of parents is turning to Dr. Dobson’s wise counsel. Some things never change.
Tyndale House Publishers and Dr. Dobson are proud to present The New Dare to Discipline, completely updated to meet family needs in the 90’s.
Spanish available
User Ratings and Reviews
2 Stars bad but not as bad as I have seen
I oppose coporal punishment (unless I have been bad and the girl is attractive) so i obviously am not going to give this book a good rating,
I will say, though, that Dobson seems to be the more reasonable of the unreasonable. He does not advocate–as does Richard Fugate or Lisa Welchel-harsh corporal punishment for the slightest “disobediance.” Dobson leaves a little more room for, say, redirecting a toddler, and he also talks about medical reasons behind behavior. He also, at points, talks about giving a kid who is having a bad day a break, and I like that.
But I don’t like his politics or his methods, or him for that matter. If you do go in for this type of crap, however, this is the least toxic of this type of book.
5 Stars Lessons learned
When I read this book many years ago, I read it because I found my child rearing techniques were very poor. I was looking for help. The book did not teach me how to spank my children, but it taught me how not to. I learned the importance of positive parenting and it taught me how to step back and turn a volatile situation into a positive learning experience.
My children are all grown up now. They’re not perfect, but neither am I. I honestly believe I did a better job after I read the book.
1 Stars Don’t buy this!
There’s just no place for power assertive techniques in parenting anymore, like those described in this book. Hitting, spanking, switching…call it whatever you want. What we know from research should make parents think twice before applying these dangerous methods. I recommend Dr. Rene Hackney’s Positive Discipline techniques. They are effective, and produce a healthy motivation in children to the right thing when no one is looking, not because they’re afraid of mom and dad.
But mostly, I wanted to write this review to say I’m just tired of people confusing the idea that if you don’t spank you don’t discipline. NONSENSE! I have two well behaved toddlers but let’s face it — it took time, effort and practice as a parent to get to this point. Hitting is an easy, quick fix for immediate results. I want long lasting results that produce healthy, well-adjusted children who are secure and confident. Using the methods in this book are a far cry from that.
Don’t buy this book! I wish Amazon would stop selling these types of books.
4 Stars James Dobson isn’t always right, but his way isn’t so bad.
Before I begin, a little about me: I’m 24 & have no kids, yet. I was not raised according to Dr Dobson’s advice for the most part, but I did experience parental violence. I am about to graduate with a B.S. in biology and I am a yoga practitioner and a vegetarian, with a deepening practice of ahimsa(nonviolence). And, not that this should matter, I’m Jewish although my background is Southern Baptist.
I have read this version of Dare to Discipline multiple times, reflecting on my own childhood and how I want to raise my kids. After much thought, I have come to the decision that judicious spanking, under certain well-defined circumstances, is discipline, not violence. Some circumstances that make it discipline are:
* Deliberate breaking of an important rule, such as harming other children
* Reasonable, nondamaging punishment
* Never punishing in anger
* Maintaining consistency
* Discerning between a child who will respond to physical punishment, and a child who would do better with other types of responses
A child ought always be able to avoid being spanked, because he knows the rules and he can reasonably expect to be spanked for doing X terrible thing. Something Dr Dobson doesn’t cover in great detail is the concept of not humiliating your children; humiliation breeds resentment and distrust. By and large, I think it’s worthwhile to read Dare to Discipline, if you’re able to approach it with an open mind and take the good and leave the bad. There is more good than bad. In my experience, it seems that too many parents today are unable to establish authority in their families, something that both they and their children need. I believe in the rights of children, but what one also needs to take into account is that it is the responsibility of parents to guide and protect their children until they’ve gained the experience necessary to make reasonable decisions. Dr Dobson articulates these concepts of loving authority very well, and although I will not follow his suggestions for the most part, I feel that his foundation is strong and his ideas are worth thinking about.
As a child, I experienced both a lack of boundaries and discipline, which has caused many problems for me later in life, and the physical violence of both my parents, which is a place I don’t want to take my own children. Both of those issues stemmed from a lack of control, and the violence was exacerbated by our toxic family environment and the inability to deal with emotional problems. I’ve come to realize that both discipline and nondiscipline can be administered in healthy ways; there is no one true path, and each child is different. But it’s important to distinguish between healthy discipline and toxic discipline and frankly, I think if you can’t administer discipline in a healthy way, you also can’t administer a more free-form family style in a healthy way. Just my two cents!
I also feel the need to point out that what some people have apparently experienced as “discipline” is clearly abuse masquerading as discipline, just as some abuse masquerades as clinging love. I don’t just mean physical discipline here, I mean emotional and mental as well. These distinctions are important- until we understand what is really happening, we can’t address the issue of abuse meaningfully.
5 Stars The New Dare to Discipline
The New Dare to Discipline encourages parents to take control of a family and interact with children in a loving and respectful way. This is helpful to parents to use these practical ideas for parenting.
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