Gospel-Powered Parenting: How the Gospel Shapes and Transforms Parenting
Gospel-Powered Parenting: How the Gospel Shapes and Transforms Parenting
A practical guide to parenting that starts with the differences that the Gospel makes in the lives of those doing the parenting - most Christian books ignore this aspect.
User Ratings and Reviews
5 Stars Practical, Biblically sound
I am the mother of ten kids and found this book to be full of excellent, Biblically sound parenting advice. Set standards and hold kids accountable for their actions, but always in a grace-filled loving way. Another book along these same lines that I enjoyed recently is Counsel from the Cross.
5 Stars This Needs to be Read by Christian Parents
Bill Farley has done the church a great service by writing “Gospel-Powered Parenting.” He comes at the topic of parenting with a very solid biblical foundation and the wisdom of a thoughtful parent who has raised 5 children. For example, Farley asks the question–have you ever noticed that there are very few instructions in the NT regarding parenting? The reason for this, as he convincingly explains, is that although we as parents want techniques and tips, the reality is that the truths and promises of the gospel are what we really need in parenting our children. He writes about the necessity of new birth, the fear of God, discipline and the great need for parents to understand the character of God in His holiness and grace–and he does this in a fresh and interesting way.
I also appreciate and am extremely challenged by his emphasis on fathers. Think about children who grow up in Christian homes. Many of them live sort of nominal church lives, not too hot or cold, mostly lukewarm. Others leave the faith entirely and spend the rest of their days in rebellion against the Lord. Still other children raised in Christian homes grow into strong believers who are passionate about Jesus and live out their lives in godliness and wisdom. Understanding that God is absolutely sovereign, it’s still necessary that we as parents ask: why is this? Farley’s observation, and mine as well, is that the deciding factor is not education–public, private, or home-school. Instead, Farley writes, “The common denominator between success and failure seems to be the spiritual depth and sincerity of the parents, especially the spiritual depth and sincerity of the father.” Parents, especially fathers, I strongly encourage you to read this book and think deeply about the gospel truths therein.
3 Stars Yes, but…..
Parenting is hard. It is a mixture of joy, laughter, tears, sadness, disappointment (with self and with your children), struggles, rewards, satisfaction, fear, worry, contentment, thanksgiving and a hundred other adjectives.
Parenting books and especially Christian parenting books are plentiful - all with advice, plans, schedules and more advice on how to parent `successfully’.
This is an interesting addition to the `Parenting’ library.
Farley’s main point is that there is little direct biblical instruction on parenting. And the reason for this is that the Gospel is (or at least should be) the tutorial that informs our parenting.
Farley begins with five assumptions which parents must hold - and then he unpacks these five assumptions throughout the book. The five are:
1. effective Christian parents assume that parenting will not be easy but that rewards will ultimately make it worth while
2. effective Christian parents are willing to hold God’s sovereignty and their responsibility in tension
3. effective Christian parents assume an offensive mindset. They pursue their child’s heart - they do everything possible to make the gospel attractive. The gospel is the focus and goal for the parent NOT protecting their children from worldly influence
4. effective Christian parents are shrewd about new birth. They do not assume it. They understand the nature of new birth and they carefully look for its symptoms.
5. Effective Christian parents labor to focus their families on God not their children.
There is much in this book which is not politically correct in our society today. For example he advocates the use of corporal discipline (spanking). And, he says, a spanking SHOULD hurt the child. However, once the child is spanked, you should hold them. Much of modern society and many in the Christian church would disagree with that.
Also, I found the chapter on `Gospel Fathers’, which expresses his view of headship, unbalanced. I do not think he portrayed a biblical or balanced view on headship and that was frustrating. In fact, the way he wrote the chapter suggested to me he really does not understand biblical headship. Rather than coming across as someone who advocates Biblical headship (which I advocate) he simply came across as a male chauvinist. Biblical headship has two sides of the coin - a wife IS to submit to her husband - but the husband is to love his wife AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH. Farley never mentions this side of headship in the book - the dying of the husband for his wife - he only mentions the wife submitting to the husband and when you present only ONE side of biblical headship it comes across as male domination.
Farley’s main premise; that the Gospel should shape and be at the center of our parenting is of course right. Not necessarily because it is THE right parenting model - but because as Christians the Gospel SHOULD shape EVERY aspect of our lives. So on one level this book should be redundant. Of course we should be parenting from a foundation of the gospel. The fact that there is a need for this book shows just how far the gospel can be from being the center of everything we do. The next book could be “Gospel Powered Employee”, then the “Gospel Powered Employer” or “Gospel Powered School Teacher” etc.
Another thing this book (and other parenting books) do not develop (although I guess its partially covered under #2 of his assumptions) is what happens when you follow ALL of this and still your child does not respond. The mantra is too often “My child was rebellious but now they are a perfect son / daughter.” Perhaps we need a book which is written by a godly parent who parented in a gospel powered fashion, and it did not work - that the child rebelled and continued to rebel. For the danger of these type of books is they can subconsciously suggest that if you follow this path your child WILL be fine. Sometimes children are not fine. And many a good parent loses their child to a life of rebellion through no fault of the parent, but because we are steeped in sin and sometimes people do not respond to the gospel. And that is hard.
Having said all that - I would still encourage parents to read this book. There is much to be gleaned from its pages.
5 Stars Life-Changing Book!
There’s not really much I can add to Tim Challies’ excellent review of this powerful, life-changing book, but I did want to add another voice and another 5 stars. This book deserves a wide readership. I’m a Christian parent of three young children and have not been able to put this book down. Farley applies the gospel to parenting in a way I’ve never seen before. Some of what he writes may surprise or even shock you. If you are a Christian parent, you should get this book and devour it immediately. I will be keeping it handy so I can refer to it and remind myself of the important truths he brings out.
5 Stars Best Parenting Book Ever?
I have read many books on parenting and this is perhaps one of the best ever. As a father of three I always want to strive to be the best parent possible. I agree wholeheartedly that working on our marriage is key and crucial. Additionally, I think authentically living out the Christian faith
As a youth pastor I disagree with his statement that it doesn’t matter where or how your kids are educated as long as the kids are being discipled at home. I would have loved to have seen evidence for this rather than a few anecdotal stories about kids that bucked the trend.
Filed under: Parenting Advice Book Reviews