Today show’s Michele Borba’s cures for difficult childhood behaviors In this down-to-earth guide, parenting expert Michele Borba offers advice for dealing with children’s difficult behavior and hot button issues including biting, temper tantrums, cheating, bad friends, inappropriate clothing, sex, drugs, peer pressure, and much more. Written for parents of kids age 3-13, this book offers easy-to-implement advice for the most important challenges parents face with kids from toddlers to tweens.

• Includes immediate solutions to the most common childhood problems and challenges
• Written by Today Show’s resident parenting expert Michele Borba
• Offers clear step-by-step guidance for solving difficult childhood behaviors and family conflicts
• Contains a wealth of advice that is easy-to-follow and gets quick results
• Author has written outstanding parenting books including Building Moral Intelligence, No More Misbehavin’, Don’t Give Me that Attitude, and more

Each of the 101 issues includes clear questions, specific step-by-step solutions, and advice that is age appropriate.

Product Description

In this down-to-earth guide, parenting expert Michele Borba offers advice for dealing with children’s difficult behavior and hot button issues including biting, temper tantrums, cheating, bad friends, inappropriate clothing, sex, drugs, peer pressure, and much more. Written for parents of kids age 3-13, this book offers easy-to-implement advice for the most important challenges parents face with kids from toddlers to tweens.

• Includes immediate solutions to the most common childhood problems and challenges
• Written by Today Show’s resident parenting expert Michele Borba
• Offers clear step-by-step guidance for solving difficult childhood behaviors and family conflicts
• Contains a wealth of advice that is easy-to-follow and gets quick results
• Author has written outstanding parenting books including Building Moral Intelligence, No More Misbehavin’, Don’t Give Me that Attitude, and more

Each of the 101 issues includes clear questions, specific step-by-step solutions, and advice that is age appropriate.

Top Ten Proven Parenting Solutions
Content from Dr. Michele Borba

Here is just a sample of the hundreds of proven and simple tips from Dr. Borba’s latest book, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions. The best news is that these solutions work for all ages, take less than a minute to do, are based on proven research and when consistently used will reap lasting change.

1. Get attention: Lower your voice almost to a whisper and then say your request. Kids aren’t used to a quiet request.

2. Increase positive behavior: Research shows that giving kids the right kind of praise (called “positive reinforcement”) is one of the best ways to shape new behavior. So, catch your kid doing the action you want. Just make sure your praise is specific and tells your child exactly what he did right. (Adding “because” or “that” takes your praise up a notch. “I’m so impressed that you started your homework all by yourself this time.”)

3. Stretch persistence: Praising the child’s effort (“You’re working so hard”) and not inherent intelligence (”You’re so smart”) is proven to enhance perseverance and performance, but the child is also more likely to bounce back from a mistake—all because he feels success is not mixed.

4. Reduce fear: Expose your child to a fear in small manageable doses and help them develop a statement to speak back to the worry (“Go away worry!” or “I can do this!”)

5. Curb a tantrum: The longer you give attention to a tantrum the longer it lasts. Ignore, ignore, ignore!

6. Nurture kindness: Encourage your child to use the Two Praise Rule everyday. “Say or do at least two kind things to someone.” Random acts of kindness really are catchy!

7. Increase assertiveness: Stress: “Look at the color of the talker’s eyes.” Using eye contact helps kids appear confident. Strong body posture also helps a child be less likely to be bullied.

8. Friendship builder: The two most commonly used traits of well-liked kids are “smiling” and “encouraging.” Reinforce those traits in your child to boost his friendship quotient.

9. Develop healthy eating habits. Eating relaxed family meals regularly enhances kids’ psychosocial well- being, boosts grades and deters behaviors like smoking and drinking and eating disorders as well as teaches the child healthy eating habits.

10. Curb nagging. Say “no” the first time and don’t back down. The average kid nags nine times knowing the parent will give in.

User Ratings and Reviews

4 Stars A Practical and Comprehensive Parenting Guide
This massive volume is packed with guidance on handling children from adolescence to teen age years. Filed with countless examples and straightforward tactics, there is no doubt if seeking to be a more effective parent you will find what you are searching for.

The only area I would have liked to have seen is a little focus on dealing with toddlers and the stresses of the terrible twos; however, in all other aspects this book is spot on. Borba is a clear and direct writer and constantly offers many logical and practical approaches making this book well worth its price.

4 Stars Good Parenting Book!
Michele Borba’s Parenting Solutions book is one of the good parenting books that offers solutions for everyday parenting struggles.It gives scenarios, suggestions, examples, research studies and models how to tackle challenges in bringing up kids ages 3-13 yrs. It is written in a very simple language and the book has been divided into various topics for easy reference. Although the book looks big, it has been very well-organized with subheadings, bullets and it also has helpful advice and parents answer section. This book has signs and symptoms which you can read and watch for in your kids. I especially liked sections like behavior, character, emotions and school. I have followed few of the suggestions and ideas offered in this book and it has really worked very well.

4 Stars Worthwhile book for new parents
This book is easy to read and well organized. I can’t say that the solutions are always that effective but it’s still an interesting read.

5 Stars Very Comprehensive
My goodness, what a sizable tome this is!

My child is a baby, but I still decided to get this book and start reading through some parts to polish my parenting skills. I want to be armed with the wisdom to spot and cope with various issues that will inevitably arise as my child develops. It’s not my intent to become an overbearing parent that smothers their child in cotton wool and defends them from every danger and this book takes a similar line, acting more as a coach to help the parent understand the pressures and desires that their child may be influenced by and how to tactfully and strategically deal with the situation.

I recommend that you have a look at the Table of Contents, using the “Look Inside” feature. There is a comprehensive list of subjects that are dealt with in this book and it will give you some idea of its broad scope.

This book will definitely see a lot of use as my child grows and it will be a companion through those times of difficulty, helping me to understand my child better and for me to become a wiser parent. Parenting is really all about experience and I feel that this book will help me gain that experience much faster and maybe even help me to avoid making mistakes too!

5 Stars The Parenting Encyclopedia is HERE!
For over ten years I have had the pleasure of referring the families in our pediatric practice to Michele Borba’s books. Michele is the foremost educator in the US. She is an avid researcher and consummate author. Sorting through difficult real-life challenges, Michele provides parents with solutions you can use on a moment’s notice. Michele’s solutions are practical, thoughtful and actionable.

Need to know how to calm anxious children, protect your children from bullying, raise moral kids and more… This is the book you keep on your kitchen counter and refer back to day after day!

This is The Parenting Encyclopedia, a must-have for every parent!

Compare Prices/More Info

Written in an accessible style for all those who work with young children or will, the author asks the reader to think of the child in the context of the family and community. Reorganized and updated, the book continues to examine developmental theory, but now with a greater emphasis on Bronfenbrenner’s theory of ecological development, discussed in Chapter 1, and more on the importance of contexts of development woven throughout. The book goes beyond encouraging mere parent involvement to how to develop a true collaboration and working relationship through good communication. It also continues to have strong coverage of cultural diversity and present personal examples and vignettes. The text explores many hot-button issues of the day such as supporting self-esteem, discipline, attachment, coping with separation, teen parents, child-abuse, children with ADHD, shy children, aggressive children, conflict resolution, problem solving, and gender issues. Full of real life examples and personal insights, the book is designed and written for not just teachers, but caregivers, child-care workers, and parents.All readers are expected to reach into their own experience, knowledge, ideas and insights to make sense of the new information in the text in the context of their own lives.

User Ratings and Reviews

5 Stars A Book On Family Centered-Learning
Known for the “diamond standard” for infants and toddlers (i.e. INFANTS, TODDLERS, AND CAREGIVERS), Gonzalez-Mena shows her diversity with this solo-written text on the family aspect of early care and education.

Like her other text, Gonzalez-Mena prefers content over presentation which, in her case, is as right as rain. As usual, she eschews color pictures and innovative, dazzling graphic organizers in favor of outstanding pieces of knowledge (i.e. her nugget on working with families on guidance and disicipline on Page 171).

I love her approach because you get much more packed into a volume (for only 60 or so dollars) than you get in splashier books like, for example, Couchenor’s family involvement book or Olsen/Fuller’s text.

Give it a try.

Compare Prices/More Info

A practical guide to parenting that starts with the differences that the Gospel makes in the lives of those doing the parenting - most Christian books ignore this aspect.

User Ratings and Reviews

5 Stars Practical, Biblically sound
I am the mother of ten kids and found this book to be full of excellent, Biblically sound parenting advice. Set standards and hold kids accountable for their actions, but always in a grace-filled loving way. Another book along these same lines that I enjoyed recently is Counsel from the Cross.

5 Stars This Needs to be Read by Christian Parents
Bill Farley has done the church a great service by writing “Gospel-Powered Parenting.” He comes at the topic of parenting with a very solid biblical foundation and the wisdom of a thoughtful parent who has raised 5 children. For example, Farley asks the question–have you ever noticed that there are very few instructions in the NT regarding parenting? The reason for this, as he convincingly explains, is that although we as parents want techniques and tips, the reality is that the truths and promises of the gospel are what we really need in parenting our children. He writes about the necessity of new birth, the fear of God, discipline and the great need for parents to understand the character of God in His holiness and grace–and he does this in a fresh and interesting way.

I also appreciate and am extremely challenged by his emphasis on fathers. Think about children who grow up in Christian homes. Many of them live sort of nominal church lives, not too hot or cold, mostly lukewarm. Others leave the faith entirely and spend the rest of their days in rebellion against the Lord. Still other children raised in Christian homes grow into strong believers who are passionate about Jesus and live out their lives in godliness and wisdom. Understanding that God is absolutely sovereign, it’s still necessary that we as parents ask: why is this? Farley’s observation, and mine as well, is that the deciding factor is not education–public, private, or home-school. Instead, Farley writes, “The common denominator between success and failure seems to be the spiritual depth and sincerity of the parents, especially the spiritual depth and sincerity of the father.” Parents, especially fathers, I strongly encourage you to read this book and think deeply about the gospel truths therein.

3 Stars Yes, but…..
Parenting is hard. It is a mixture of joy, laughter, tears, sadness, disappointment (with self and with your children), struggles, rewards, satisfaction, fear, worry, contentment, thanksgiving and a hundred other adjectives.

Parenting books and especially Christian parenting books are plentiful - all with advice, plans, schedules and more advice on how to parent `successfully’.

This is an interesting addition to the `Parenting’ library.

Farley’s main point is that there is little direct biblical instruction on parenting. And the reason for this is that the Gospel is (or at least should be) the tutorial that informs our parenting.

Farley begins with five assumptions which parents must hold - and then he unpacks these five assumptions throughout the book. The five are:

1. effective Christian parents assume that parenting will not be easy but that rewards will ultimately make it worth while

2. effective Christian parents are willing to hold God’s sovereignty and their responsibility in tension

3. effective Christian parents assume an offensive mindset. They pursue their child’s heart - they do everything possible to make the gospel attractive. The gospel is the focus and goal for the parent NOT protecting their children from worldly influence

4. effective Christian parents are shrewd about new birth. They do not assume it. They understand the nature of new birth and they carefully look for its symptoms.

5. Effective Christian parents labor to focus their families on God not their children.

There is much in this book which is not politically correct in our society today. For example he advocates the use of corporal discipline (spanking). And, he says, a spanking SHOULD hurt the child. However, once the child is spanked, you should hold them. Much of modern society and many in the Christian church would disagree with that.

Also, I found the chapter on `Gospel Fathers’, which expresses his view of headship, unbalanced. I do not think he portrayed a biblical or balanced view on headship and that was frustrating. In fact, the way he wrote the chapter suggested to me he really does not understand biblical headship. Rather than coming across as someone who advocates Biblical headship (which I advocate) he simply came across as a male chauvinist. Biblical headship has two sides of the coin - a wife IS to submit to her husband - but the husband is to love his wife AS CHRIST LOVED THE CHURCH. Farley never mentions this side of headship in the book - the dying of the husband for his wife - he only mentions the wife submitting to the husband and when you present only ONE side of biblical headship it comes across as male domination.

Farley’s main premise; that the Gospel should shape and be at the center of our parenting is of course right. Not necessarily because it is THE right parenting model - but because as Christians the Gospel SHOULD shape EVERY aspect of our lives. So on one level this book should be redundant. Of course we should be parenting from a foundation of the gospel. The fact that there is a need for this book shows just how far the gospel can be from being the center of everything we do. The next book could be “Gospel Powered Employee”, then the “Gospel Powered Employer” or “Gospel Powered School Teacher” etc.

Another thing this book (and other parenting books) do not develop (although I guess its partially covered under #2 of his assumptions) is what happens when you follow ALL of this and still your child does not respond. The mantra is too often “My child was rebellious but now they are a perfect son / daughter.” Perhaps we need a book which is written by a godly parent who parented in a gospel powered fashion, and it did not work - that the child rebelled and continued to rebel. For the danger of these type of books is they can subconsciously suggest that if you follow this path your child WILL be fine. Sometimes children are not fine. And many a good parent loses their child to a life of rebellion through no fault of the parent, but because we are steeped in sin and sometimes people do not respond to the gospel. And that is hard.

Having said all that - I would still encourage parents to read this book. There is much to be gleaned from its pages.

5 Stars Life-Changing Book!
There’s not really much I can add to Tim Challies’ excellent review of this powerful, life-changing book, but I did want to add another voice and another 5 stars. This book deserves a wide readership. I’m a Christian parent of three young children and have not been able to put this book down. Farley applies the gospel to parenting in a way I’ve never seen before. Some of what he writes may surprise or even shock you. If you are a Christian parent, you should get this book and devour it immediately. I will be keeping it handy so I can refer to it and remind myself of the important truths he brings out.

5 Stars Best Parenting Book Ever?
I have read many books on parenting and this is perhaps one of the best ever. As a father of three I always want to strive to be the best parent possible. I agree wholeheartedly that working on our marriage is key and crucial. Additionally, I think authentically living out the Christian faith

As a youth pastor I disagree with his statement that it doesn’t matter where or how your kids are educated as long as the kids are being discipled at home. I would have loved to have seen evidence for this rather than a few anecdotal stories about kids that bucked the trend.

Compare Prices/More Info

Nowadays parents are bombarded by any number of approaches about how to be with their children. YOU ARE YOUR CHILD’S FIRST TEACHER introduces a new way of understanding the human being so that parents can be best equipped to serve as their own children’s best teachers. Chapters include: Caring for the Newborn, Helping Your Toddler’s Development, The Development of Fantasy and Creative Play, Nourishing Your Child’s Imagination, Rhythm and Discipline in Home Life, Readiness for School, and more.

User Ratings and Reviews

5 Stars Interesting
This book has many good pointers for raising a well balanced, compassionate child. Easy to read, easy to follow, and easy to put into action.

5 Stars BEST “baby” book EVER
this book has taught me more about positive child rearing than all the books I’ve read combined - whether you plan to have your child go to a Waldorf school or not, this book is invaluable for “raising” a child well

4 Stars Life’s first lessons
Rahima Baldwin Dancy wrote this book for parents who want to help their children learn as much as possible between birth and age six. These are the most formative years in many ways, and everything the school age child learns after age six has less overall impact than the crucial early learning. The first three years are especially critical. The new born baby, far from just eating, sleeping and crying, is taking in information about the world at an astounding rate.

It’s not just a matter of intellectual growth, however, but of raising a well rounded person. The phenomenon of ‘hothousing’, when parents try to hurry their children’s intellectual development by cramming them full of assignments at a very early age, does not lead to a well rounded child. These are the same types who practice ‘baby gymnastics’ and hire motivational coaches for their toddlers, and the author of ‘You Are Your Child’s First Teacher’ is scathing towards them.

“American popular psychology and business interests have interpreted ‘infant stimulation’ to mean that you constantly need to be stimulating your baby with bits of coloured plastic and flash cards,” writes Dancy, who believes that more enriching stimulation comes through holding, rocking, talking etc. “Even though babies can be taught to read with enough condition-response training, they are not reading for meaning and are using a lower part of the brain.”

Perhaps this book, in attempting to redress the balance, goes slightly too far in the other direction. The book is heavily influenced by the ideas of Rudolf Steiner, who believed that science and maths shouldn’t be taught in the first seven years. But this all depends on the child. I used to love reading about science, even around age four and five, as it was truly fun, especially the stuff about dinosaurs (paleontology) and outer space (astronomy). As long as it isn’t made tedious and technical, there shouldn’t be any problem with teaching these kinds of areas before the age of seven.

On the other hand, it should be remembered that children are not highly rational, and the author asserts that giving them overtly rational explanations at a young age is like giving a hungry child stones instead of bread: “When young children ask questions like “why does the sun shine?”, they are really asking about purpose rather than mechanics,” she asserts, “and are much more nourished by an answer like “to keep us warm and to make the grass and flowers grow” rather than a lecture on thermodynamics.” This will be anathema to totalitarian empiricists like Richard Dawkins, who claimed at one point that he wanted research done into whether fairy tales were harmful to children, and whether they should be banned!

The author excels at explaining the different stages of consciousness that a child goes through: “Between the second and third years a major change in consciousness occurs with…the first saying of the word ‘I’. This change is the reason most people can’t remember very much before the age of three.” She does a good job of explaining the stages of mental, spiritual and physical development of a baby. Babies ‘grow down’ rather than grow up, with their eyes being the first thing they learn to control, then the head, torso, and finally the legs.

She doesn’t recommend playpens, because they trap the baby in a boring, enclosed enviroment. Better to let the baby explore at will (after making sure the room is totally safe of course). A study of children who performed outstandingly in later life showed that they almost invariably had parents who were “loving but firm”. “It’s time to brush your teeth” is better than “Brush your teeth now please” for a toddler in the ‘terrible twos’ phase of development. It is harder for them to argue against this. Adding a song or ritual helps, e.g. lighting a candle near their bed when it’s bedtime, and then letting them blow out the match.

Another strategy suggested for ‘terrible twos’ throwing a tantrum is to simply pick the child up and take him to another room. Stand there stony faced and silent until he has calmed down (usually just a few minutes), and then return him to the original scene. This apparently works better than ignoring the child’s behaviour on the one hand, or losing one’s temper on the other.

The importance of play is stressed, as it develops the child’s imagination and creativity. The author used to work as a preschool teacher, and observed a dramatic difference between those children who watched TV and those who didn’t. The ones who didn’t watch TV were far more imaginative in their play. There is an interesting section on ‘Understanding Children’s Drawings’: “Until the age of three, spirals are drawn from outward to inward, only gradually forming a centre that reflects the child’s growing realisation of self…the flash of ego consciousness is documented by the ability to draw a circle.”

Folk tales and fairy tales are full of spiritual and psychological truths, and should be encouraged from the age of around four. They shouldn’t be ‘rationalised’ either, as the child takes them in on an instinctive level, and becomes immersed in their subtle and mysterious symbolism, which then becomes part of the psyche (or if you prefer, an echo of the timeless realm the child departed at birth). Too much emotional dramatisation should be avoided in telling such tales to a young child, as the emotions aren’t developed enough before the age of seven or so to appreciate this. Instead, under-sevens listen for the cadence and rhythm of the language, and repeating the same story over and over is fine. The book gives a helpful (but not nearly complete enough) list of fairy tales and their suitablilty for different ages based on their varying degrees of complexity.

5 Stars Great Resource
This book is a great read whether you are interested in Waldorf Education or not. It gives wonderful insights into raising and educating your young children.

5 Stars Insightful
I love this book, it has some very insightful parenting ideas, things that have really helped me. Along the same lines, check out Making a Family Home. It would make a nice companion to this book.

Compare Prices/More Info

User Ratings and Reviews

5 Stars Great advice
Book provides a positive structure to shape behavior versus a negative response to bad behavior. Makes you look at the bigger picture of the situation and not just the defiant act of the child

Wish everyone would follow the instructions with their children.

5 Stars positive reinforcement works
if you’re tired of yelling, hitting and generally just being not nice to your child in order to get him/her to behave, this book is for you. this book taught me that being kind and reserving unpleasant (but not mean) punishments for unwanted behavior works! it seems almost too simple/easy to actually work, but trust me it’s all in the finer points of the technique. it tamed my two wild boys when nothing else would.

5 Stars Kazdin’s Method is really Applied Behavior Analysis
This book offers some excellent descriptions and I definitely recommend it to parents. However, calling it “The Kazdin Method” gives the false impression that the author has pioneered something that he has not. Behavioral contracts, token/point economies, differential reinforcement, shaping, extinction, ABC analysis. The book is misnamed: it should be titled “The Applied Behavior Analysis Method”.

At the very least, given that the approach draws so heavily on positive reinforcement, a behavioral principle pioneered by Skinner, the author should have put Skinner front and center as a primary source. Yet Skinner’s name is mentioned once only in passing and in reference to punishment. Given the credentials of the author, this seems more likely the result of product design than oversight. That’s unfortunate.

Also, see the book by the late Glenn Latham- a behavior analyst- titled “The Power of Positive Parenting”. I was surprised to see the author “turn” this phrase since Latham’s book used the phrase in the title of his book over 15yrs ago.

Kazdin’s Parent Management Training book did a nice job of referencing applied behavior analysis as a primary source of material. It would have been nice if this book did the same.

5 Stars REAL help for any parent - based on real science - If you buy one parenting book, make it this one.
I am a mother of 6 strong minded, intelligent, stubborn children, and this is the best, most helpful parenting book I have ever read. The things I love about this book are;

1. Kazdin’s methods are based on years of scientific research, not just compiled opinions about what “the experts” think “should” work with children.

2. This is real world stuff that any parent with an open mind can do - and even if you just do SOME of it, IT STILL WORKS.

3. IT WORKS. QUICKLY. The techniques outlined in this book can be applied to all different types of kids, all different ages & severity of problems, and it sets up a positive environment that everyone can feel good about.

4. Kazdin gives very specific examples and varied scenarios for each segment.

I can’t imagine that ANY parent would not benefit from this book. If I could give this more than 5 stars, I would.

4 Stars Good read
It is never too late to turn around a bad behavior. This book helped me with two teen boys. Plus it arrived very quickly after ordering.

Compare Prices/More Info

Today’s busier, faster, supersized society is waging an undeclared war . . . on childhood. As the pace of life accelerates to hyperspeed–with too much stuff, too many choices, and too little time–children feel the pressure. They can become anxious, have trouble with friends and school, or even be diagnosed with behavioral problems. Now, in defense of the extraordinary power of less, internationally renowned family consultant Kim John Payne helps parents reclaim for their children the space and freedom that all kids need, allowing their children’s attention to focus and their individuality to flourish.

Based on Payne’s twenty year’s experience successfully counseling busy families, Simplicity Parenting teaches parents how to worry and hover less–and how to enjoy more. For those who want to slow their children’s lives down but don’t know where to start, Payne offers both inspiration and a blueprint for change.

• Streamline your home environment. The average child has more than 150 toys. Here are tips for reducing the amount of toys, books, and clutter–as well as the lights, sounds, and general sensory overload that crowd the space young imaginations need in order to grow.

• Establish rhythms and rituals. Predictability (routines) and transparency (knowing the day’s plan) are soothing pressure valves for children. Here are ways to ease daily tensions, create battle-free mealtimes and bedtimes, and tell if your child is overwhelmed.

• Schedule a break in the schedule. Too many activities may limit children’s ability to motivate and direct themselves. Learn how to establish intervals of calm in your child’s daily torrent of constant doing–and familiarize yourself with the pros and cons of organized sports and other “enrichment” activities.

• Scale back on media and parental involvement. Back out of hyperparenting by managing your children’s “screen time” to limit the endless and sometimes scary deluge of information and stimulation.

Parental hovering is really about anxiety; by doing less and trusting more, parents can create a sanctuary that nurtures children’s identity, well-being, and resiliency as they grow–slowly–into themselves. A manifesto for protecting the grace of childhood, Simplicity Parenting is an eloquent guide to bringing new rhythms to bear on the lifelong art of parenting.

User Ratings and Reviews

5 Stars Practical and Inspiring
This is a terrific, thoughtful book that all parents should read. It is so easy to fall into the trap of “more stuff” when you are a parent. There are just so many toys, books, gears and gadgets that before you know it, your house is overflowing with stuff. This book is a wonderful response to that problem. It’s a great blend of theory and practicality as they combine discussions of “soul fever” with clear strategies for decluttering your home and your life.

I thought that the section on “environment,” which deals with the overabundance of toys, was a useful refresher. It motivated me to take a good hard look at my daughter’s mounds of stuffed animals and start paring it down.

The sections on “rhythm” and “schedule” were also great. I was particularly struck by her examples of the noticeable impact it made on kids’ behavior when more routine and predictability was introduced into their lives.

And finally, the section on shielding your kids from some of the realities of the “adults world” absolutely blew me away. I grew up very much in the thick of parental discussions and it never occured to me that this might not be the environment I should aspire to create for my child.

All in all a great read. Highly recommended.

1 Stars Why is the price so high for the Kindle Version of this book????
What happened to the 9.99 price for the Kindle???? I would buy it if it was the 9.99 which is what most of the Kindle books go for. Is there something extra special about this book??? Is it bigger than most???

Disappointing…..

5 Stars so right
This book is so valuable. I wish I had had it when I first became a parent. I savored each chapter slowly, like a delicious chocolate. Every paragraph was so true, and made me think deeply. How great is that? I mean, honestly, you moms out there, when was the last time a book allowed you to slow down and stop multitasking? Sometimes my life has seemed so scattered, running after the kids all the time, but when I read this I felt like here was some wisdom I could calm down with.

When I started to declutter I actually included the kids in the process, counter to the author’s advice. But they loved it! “Can we throw out this, too, Mom?” “This is broken, let’s get rid of it, Mom.” They were nearly as ruthless as I was. And after we had finished my 5yr old said, “Ooo, I like this room now!” I like it, too. I no longer step on tiny plastic stamps all the time (ouch! …all thrown out now!), and my daughter can find her favorite hair accessories without a frantic and ultimately fruitless search each morning.

The only thing I even slightly disagreed with was the author’s disapproval of parents talking constantly to their children, like newscasters narrating events. I agree that it is easy to overdo this. I also agree that silent pauses are needed frequently, and that kids need a chance to get a word in edgewise. But I disagree when he implies that it is *always* bad. Actually, narrating the actions you and your child are engaging in can be a powerful tool to teach language skills to children whose communication skills are delayed or disordered. It’s important to talk about events that the child is actively attending to, and to model vocabulary that the child can then use later. Staying silent is not always the best parental course of action, especially if the child is not communicating typically.

My favorite parts were:

–keep food simple. That’s such a nice way to summarize traditional, healthy diets. No neon colors, no flashy characters on the labels, just simple real food.

–don’t let after school activities take over your life. They shouldn’t!

–intersperse exciting times with down time, so rest can occur and the special times seem more special. It’s so obvious, but it’s nice to be reminded.

–it’s okay to throw out/recycle junk, and to give away that which others might want. We do not have to keep everything, forever.

Buy this book. You won’t regret it. I usually just get books from the library but this was one I had to keep for future reference and I don’t begrudge the cost at all. It’s so worth the money.

It would make an especially good baby present, also. Parenting can be so much easier if we keep it simple from the beginning.

5 Stars What I have known in my heart about American children for a long time….
Kim John Payne has written a compelling, true book about what is wrong with childhood in America. The United States consumes 80 percent of the worlds Ritalin which is so alarming.

Yet, although he makes an excellent case for the poor job we are doing to preserve childhood, he also gives inspiration for parents who want to parent differently. In order to give our children what they need, it will require swimming against the tide of popular culture, but arent our children worth the effort? Kudos to Mr. Payne and this excellent book!

4 Stars A positive and affirmative book
So much of parenting is by the seat of your pants, its good to have some affirmation from writers who share your values and concerns. The book is well written and organized in a manner that allows you to hone in on specific areas of concern. I didn’t have any great epiphanies and suspect that most readers will already be the kind who believe less is more. However, I did find some ways to tweak what I do and some very clear explanations of why simplicity works. The discussion on parenting balance is an example of this. While my approach seems to be working at home, their description of what balance means for both father and mother was excellent. I used it to start a discussion with my spouse. It was much more clear and cogent than anything I could have articulated. There could have been more summary points to make the lessons a bit more memorable (a la Things I learned in Kindergaren)- Don’t mire kids in adult concerns, Leave time for play every day, clutter is bad, eg. They did this approach for filtering our own speech (true.kind.necessary) and I have already started to use it. If you have an inkling that your family may have too hectic an existence and want to explore how to take it all down a notch, this book is a good way to explore the thought. I would get if from the library however because once you understand the concepts, there is probably not much need to keep it around for reference.

Compare Prices/More Info

In a world of modern, involved, caring parents, why are so many kids aggressive and cruel?  Where is intelligence hidden in the brain, and why does that matter?  Why do cross-racial friendships decrease in schools that are more integrated?  If 98% of kids think lying is morally wrong, then why do 98% of kids lie?  What’s the single most important thing that helps infants learn language?
  NurtureShock is a groundbreaking collaboration between award-winning science journalists Po Bronson and Ashley Merryman.  They argue that when it comes to children, we’ve mistaken good intentions for good ideas.  With impeccable storytelling and razor-sharp analysis, they demonstrate that many of modern society’s strategies for nurturing children are in fact backfiring–because key twists in the science have been overlooked.
  Nothing like a parenting manual, the authors’ work is an insightful exploration of themes and issues that transcend children’s (and adults’) lives.

User Ratings and Reviews

4 Stars This is a great book
It reinforced some of my own ideas, such as kids needing way more sleep than most of them get. But then the chapter on children and race was so surprising and eye-opening. I’d never read any of those studies before and I think that is the most critical section in the book. Parents and teachers need to read it. Wish I had read it when my children were younger. But I did read a lot of parts out loud to my teenage children and we discussed them. So I hope they still benefit from what I learned in this book!

4 Stars WOW!
This is an outstanding book with interesting ideas. There is full documentation for ideas. It will make you think about some practices.

5 Stars Nurture Shock
This book is a needed view for anyone who works with children. A must read for anyone who is in the field a child developement.

5 Stars Good overview, thought provoking!
I’ve recommended this to all my friends with kids. I think it’s great that the authors don’t seem to push a particular ’style’ of parenting, they simply focus on the scientific research. That makes this book accessible and meaningful for parents of every type. The chapters on race, lying, and teens were especially informative and thought-provoking for me.

5 Stars Great Book!!
This book is well researched and each chapter is concise and to the point. Each chapter covers another amazing misconception society shares about raising children. This book is not a parenting manual but is instead the “Freakonomics” of child rearing that looks outside “common sense ideas” these books have perpetuated for years.

Compare Prices/More Info

Boys are falling behind in school. The world has become more verbal; boys haven’t. Even in their traditionally strong subjects of science and math, boys are hit at a young age with new educational approaches, stressing high-level reading and writing goals that they are developmentally unable to achieve. The gap between male and female achievement has reached the college level, where only 40 per cent of graduates next year will be male. This doesn’t just mean fewer male doctors and lawyers, it also means fewer men in the careers that previously did not require post-high school degrees but do now. “Why Boys Fail” examines the roots and repercussions of this problem and spells out the educational, political, social and economic challenges we face as we work to end it.

User Ratings and Reviews

5 Stars Why Boys Fail Excellent Study Of Important Problem
In this book, the author provides an excellent and very interesting study of the modern day educational gender gap. This gap is the considerable disadvantage that boys now face compared to girls in educational outcomes. The author points out that not only are college students and those receiving degrees almost 60% female, but that preceding the college years is a record of poor educational performance by boys going back to pre-Kindergarten. In 10 well-organized chapters, the book develops a number of important concepts. Not only does it provide the thesis of why boys are doing so poorly (not only relative to girls but also overall), but it also provides indications of what the solutions are. These proposed solutions include improved teaching techniques to address the problems, as well as necessary policy initiatives. The 10 chapters provide a logical flow through the subject area of the book. The first chapter looks into how the basic issue presents itself, using examples such as an awards presentation at a school where almost all of the award recipients are girls. This leads to the question, what happened to the boys? The second chapter then points to the ultimate underlying factor, poor literacy among boys, pointing out that strong literacy is absolutely necessary not only for success in college, but in many other areas, such as being able to read manuals. The third chapter then explores some of the reasons why reading is taught so poorly; pointing out that good teaching methods are especially important when students are doing poorly. The fourth chapter then looks at the deficiencies of boys with regard to writing ability. In the fifth chapter, the book now moves on to a new emphasis, starting with an examination of many of the reasons that are given for the poor educational performance of boys. This starts with video games, discusses the lack of male teachers, and covers a number of other proposed explanations. For each one, the author examines whether there is credible evidence that the factor is a valid or partial explanation for the problems that boys are having. The sixth chapter is the most hopeful in the book. In this chapter, the author examines three schools that are succeeding in teaching all of their students, including the boys, at an equal level, particularly in reading. Here the techniques that are being used so successfully are described and the key point is made that it is possible to teach virtually all boys to read successfully. Having established that the methods exist, the author moves on in the seventh chapter to examine the ideological stalemate, particularly from those who have been fighting for equality for girls, that has caused this problem to largely be ignored in this country. Since the problem has not been addressed at the highest levels in the United States, the author then uses the eighth chapter to look at how the problems of poor educational performance by boys has been addressed in other countries, particularly in Australia. The ninth chapter then discusses societal trends that show why these gender gaps matter. And the tenth chapter then looks at recommendations that the author has towards the alleviation of the problem, particularly advocating that the Secretary of Education sponsor a formal study into the issue of poor educational performance by boys. Overall, this provides an excellent journey, both for those who are mostly unfamiliar with the issue as well as for those who have been aware of it for some time, into the latest problems, developments, and solutions that have been taking place in this important area. The style is fun to read. It is full of little stories that are interesting in their own right and also provide excellent illustrations of the points that are being made. No matter where one stands on this issue, they will be both entertained and well informed.

4 Stars A great jumpstart for a national conversation
Richard Whitmire has given us a well thought-out overview of a subject that has gotten scant attention–the frightening falling off of boys’ academic achievement, particularly in comparison to girls.

Peppered with engaging stories and descriptions, Whitmire lays out the facts and examines popular hypotheses for the achievement gap between boys and girls. He comes to no definitive conclusions, but he lays out the case for inadequate reading instruction pretty powerfully.

My favorite parts involve descriptions of schools where there is no achievement gap–schools that focus on basic reading instruction as well as teaching a well-rounded curriculum by teachers who take care to make sure all their students learn. Seems so obvious.

5 Stars Parent perspective
As the parent of a daughter and a son, I found the book immensely reassuring. I now understand why my very smart and fabulous son did not excel as well academically as he has in life outside the classroom. I wish I had known this years ago. It would have saved me sleepless nights and lots of worry. I hope the book impacts those who are in a position to effect change in the way we teach our boys.

5 Stars The Educational System Does Not Sign Birth Certificates
//Why Boys Fail: Saving Our Sons from an Educational System That’s Leaving Them Behind// authored by Richard Whitmore proclaims a problem in school systems nationwide. Boys are not making the grades. These boys become disciplinary problems and get suspended to avoid the embarrassment of anyone knowing that they can not read or write.

According to this research, these are not just poor minority boys. Many of them have affluent parents and some even work as professionals in educational institutions and their boys are included in a system that is failing. Why are the girls making the grades? Excuses such as “Boys will be boys” must end.

What are we going to do? Keep the boys on medication for attention deficit hyperactivity disorders. Many of these boys drop out of school by the ninth grade. This problem has caused colleges to become the new high schools.

//Why Boys Fail: Saving Our Sons from an Educational System That’s Leaving Them Behind// presents frustration on many levels. This book makes you quizzical. Has the educational system really failed the boys? Have parents placed too much responsibility on the school system? What about the boys, your boys, your sons?

Reviewed by Vivian Dixon Sober

5 Stars An Important Book for All Parents
Whether you have a son or not, this book offers crucial insight into one of the most important contemporary issues in our schools. Whitmire writes with passion and intelligence about the problem and some fascinating solutions.

Compare Prices/More Info

User Ratings and Reviews

2 Stars Read it only if you’re interested in becoming vegan
Initially I must say I was all for this book and decided to trust these ladies and everything they had to say. As I read on I discovered that this book is just full of things we should not eat with lots and lots of backings behind it but none the less each chapter represents one more thing you can’t eat.

Okay so milk … bad, protein … bad, meat chicken fish … bad, cheese … bad. And I must say after about reading this book half way I stopped and put it away.

The books objective is one thing: TO GET YOU TO BECOME VEGAN. And by the end of it all you can eat is vegan food and soy milk. That’s about it because everything else we eat causes cancer and anything else you can imagine.

There’s nothing wrong with being vegan but this book is misleading because you think it’s a nutrition guide to what to eat while pregnant when it’s really just trying to get you to become vegan. I personally don’t know that many vegans and by the ration of this book every single one of us should be sick beyond belief.

Sorry, I didn’t buy it and didn’t finish it.

1 Stars Contradictory and Misleading in quest to support Vegan agenda
I don’t mind that the authors are vegan and are trying to convince others to follow their lead. In fact, I agree that we could all probably do with fewer meat & animal products in our diets.

However, they CLEARLY manipulate and mis-interpret “data” and “studies” just to get their points across. It’s base and shameless.

For example, they cite one study that shows that women who consume low- or non-fat dairy products daily have trouble conceiving. BUT THEY FAIL TO MENTION THAT THEY *SAME* *STUDY* *ALSO* showed that women who consume at least 1 FULL-fat serving of dairy per day actually have *better* chances of conception (and, anecdotally, the full-fat dairy thing worked for me; I drank a cup of whole milk a day for weeks before ovulation and BAM! got pregnant that very month). ONLY telling ONE PART of a study to try and make a point is unsportsmanlike and intellecually bankrupt. Here is a link to a description of the study and its findings, if you’d like to read them: http://bit.ly/3Vl2io

Likewise, they go on and on about how calcium supplements can’t be absorbed by the body. Ok, fair enough. However, a couple of pages later, they recommend getting calcium from drinking Soy milk that has been fortified with calcium. Ummmmm. Hello ladies? How do you think that calcium gets IN to soy milk? Why, it’s “fortified” with the same types of ingredients that GO into the very calcium supplements you just bashed a page earlier.

In sum, the authors shoot themselves (specifically, their credibility) in the foot by dishonestly providing only bits and pieces of info. Again, I have nothing against veganism per se, but if you’re going to support it, do so in a way that is honest.

1 Stars Disappointment
This book was an uter disappointment. I got it thinking that it was going to be an amusing twist to being healthy while pregnant… I mean seriously it has the word Bitch in the title. So I started to read it and about mid way through it goes on and on about the abuse animals suffer in slaughter houses. There was one part where they said that just for fun a guy cut off a pigs nose and laughed at it while it was in pain, and when it started to calm down he rubbed salt in the wound to hurt it more. I cried my eyes out! I love animals, and would be disturbed by this on a normal basis, but being pregnant and emotional mad it so much worse! What kind of person would write that crap knowing that an emotional pregnant woman is going to be reading it! I didn’t even bother to read the rest, I threw that piece of crap in the garbage where it belongs!

5 Stars Written by REAL nutritionists, very informative
Kudos to the authors! There were absolutely no resources out there for moms-to-be following a healthy and compassionate diet & lifestyle - until this book. To the naysayers, this is a book filled with sound nutritional advice. Both authors are highly qualified nutritionists with Masters degrees in Nutrition (one has been a nutritionist for over 15 years and the other is currently working on obtaining a doctorate in nutrition). Please don’t knock the book just because you don’t understand veganism. I didn’t always understand it - I used to eat meat. But I educated myself - I talked to nutritionists, read copious books on nutrition and veganism, etc., before deciding 100% that it was the right decision for me. And I have never looked back because I am healthier (and yes, “skinnier”) than I have ever been in my life. Please don’t be narrow-minded and not give this book a chance just because the authors are vegans. (I have been vegetarian for nearly 20 years now and if all I ate was tofu and wheatgrass, I would not have lasted that long on the diet. Vgean food is incredibly satisfying - and delicious.) Give peas a chance!

5 Stars Purchase only if you care about your health and the health of your baby!
I had toxemia and blood complications during my pregnancy with my only child 27 years ago. I ate everything under the sun due to the belief of, “if you’re pregnant and crave it, eat it” I was considered dead as they wheeled me into the ER in my 8th month of pregnancy. My daughter turned out great, but I came too close to not being around to watch her grow.

I’ve already adopted the “Skinny Bitch” way of eating due to health problems. I’m a different person! I am so healthy, have so much energy, look younger, feel better, lower cholesterol and more!

Now my daughter is pregnant. Guess what? She is getting this book today. She already has become a vegetarian due to the knowledge I’ve gained after reading the book, but now she is concerned about her health and the health of her baby.

It’s your life and your baby. If you don’t care about this, that’s up to you. Me? I want my daughter and grandbaby to be happy and healthy. This book will give my daughter most of the nutrition guidance she needs.

Bravo to the authors of this book!!! Know that you have made a differenc in MANY MANY lives with your books!!! I hear it daily now!!! Through them many people have learned to no longer trust our government to tell us what’s good and bad. We have learned to educate ourselves and question everyone and every food!!!

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!!!

Compare Prices/More Info

A psychologist with a reputation for penetrating to the heart of complex parenting issues joins forces with a physician and bestselling author to tackle one of the most disturbing and misunderstood trends of our time — peers replacing parents in the lives of our children.

Dr. Neufeld has dubbed this phenomenon peer orientation, which refers to the tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction: for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behaviour. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; its effects are painfully evident in the context of teenage gangs and criminal activity, in tragedies such as in Littleton, Colorado; Tabor, Alberta and Victoria, B.C. It is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident — as do the solutions.

Hold On to Your Kids will restore parenting to its natural intuitive basis and the parent-child relationship to its rightful preeminence. The concepts, principles and practical advice contained in Hold On to Your Kids will empower parents to satisfy their children’s inborn need to find direction by turning towards a source of authority, contact and warmth.

Something has changed. One can sense it, one can feel it, just not find the words for it. Children are not quite the same as we remember being. They seem less likely to take their cues from adults, less inclined to please those in charge, less afraid of getting into trouble. Parenting, too, seems to have changed. Our parents seemed more confident, more certain of themselves and had more impact on us, for better or for worse. For many, parenting does not feel natural. Adults through the ages have complained about children being less respectful of their elders and more difficult to manage than preceding generations, but could it be that this time it is for real? — from Hold On to Your Kids

From the Hardcover edition.

User Ratings and Reviews

5 Stars LOVED THIS BOOK!!
Book was everything I wanted it to be. Took a little longer than I’d hoped to arrive, but arrived in excellent condition.

2 Stars incomplete book
the book i bought has no introduction and no chapter 1 either. VERY DISAPPOINTED.

i got ripped off by buying a incomplete book or defective book.

4 Stars Important support for attachment theory
I just finished reading this book. It makes a compelling case against the peer-oriented culture which has grown to dominate over the past few decades, especially as it pertains to parents losing their hold on kids as the primary nurturing and guiding force until they reach maturity. It goes as far as to claim that true maturity isn’t actually occurring among those who are taking their cues solely from their fellow immature peers. It’s the blind leading the blind, with disastrous results.

In today’s culture which places a high value on peer interaction along with less time available for families to spend together, it’s more difficult for parents to remain the primary orienting force in their children’s lives. Children are encouraged to socialize with other children early and often. High student: teacher ratios in daycares and schools encourage attachment to peers instead of teachers. The extended family of loving adults that used to be the norm in children’s lives is now the exception, and our mobile society creates isolation instead of community. Add to this mix the effects of media which perpetuates the culture of cool, and the result is that it’s simply much, much harder to parent today than it was a few decades ago, and it’s far easier for children to turn to each other to meet their attachment needs.

So … what does all this mean to me, the mother of a three-year-old sensitive child? Actually, the implications are pretty direct. As a sensitive child, Lucas absorbs everyone’s energy. He mimics everything and everyone. It already appears that he’s very susceptible to influence by his peers, coming home from preschool with new behaviors and mannerisms all the time, to my enormous frustration. He’s also sensitive to even the most subtle withdrawal of my affection, and this drives him to attach more quickly to others who will fill the void. If he’s around his peers when we’ve been having a rough time with our mother-son relationship, any authority and influence I may have had disappears and all hell breaks loose. If this keeps up, I’ll lose him completely by middle school.

I’ve struggled with how to handle these difficulties. Mainstream parenting philosophy dictates that firmer boundaries and punitive measures are necessary to nip negative behavior in the bud. Attachment theory suggests the opposite. I’ve waffled between the two, leaning toward attachment and then chickening out in the face of parental and societal pressure. Intuition always leads me back to attachment, though. And when I doubt myself, I end up with a book like this one to give me the support I need.

The following is a quote from the book that seemed to sum up the prescription for me:

“The key to activating maturation is to take care of the attachment needs of the child. To foster independence, we must first invite dependence; to promote individuation we must provide a sense of belonging and unity; to help the child separate, we must assume the responsibility for keeping the child close. We help a child let go by providing more contact and connection than he himself is seeking. When he asks for a hug, we give him a warmer on than he is giving us. We liberate our children not by making them work for our love but by letting them rest in it. We help a child face the separation involved in going to sleep or going to school by satisfying his need for closeness.”

For me, this translated to:

* Playing more with him and watching him play, especially when he hasn’t asked.

* “Spending time” at bedtime, (laying next to him until he falls asleep) even if it’s inconvenient for me.

* Satisfying his need for closeness - saying yes unless there is a really good reason to say no - even if it means going with him every time he needs to go to the bathroom or find a sock or wash his hands.

* Allowing our daily “quiet time” to be spent in the same room together.

* Being unconditionally loving in my tone and words. Reaffirm that I love him no matter what.

* Do what it takes to manage my own frustration in healthy ways (exercise, meditate, sleep, etc.) so I don’t take it out on him.

In essence, I need to consider his attachment needs ahead of my own needs for space, quiet, control, approval or whatever it is I’m seeking at the moment. I am a mature adult, and I can be creative in finding other healthy ways of getting those needs met. Lucas is not, and he won’t be for a long time. If left to his own devices, his choices are not going to be smart ones. Just look at most adolescents.

This book was just the right wake-up call to get me back on track.

2 Stars Just o.k.
Some of the premises I don’t agree with. It is important for some peer bonding to occur. The inference that day care is not good because kids are more aggressive than those who aren’t in day care. Exactly what is a working parent supposed to do?

5 Stars Size matters
Great book but you might search Amazon.ca for a used original hardcover - larger type and easier to hold in the hand.

Compare Prices/More Info